Week 3
HOOK-AND-LADDER!
The year of the tight end mystery continues in Week 3! Defenses continue to thrive (especially in Green Bay, Minnesota, and New York), but some of the running backs were able to step up this week in fantasy football and score some meaningful points. Saquon, Henry, Kyren and Jonathon Taylor - EVEN CHUBARD HUBBARD showing some flash. The Dubtown league STILL has no respect for old time QB’s and any QB who was once deemed a bust. It’s time to swallow your pride and put Sam Darnold on your roster (bone bruise and all). Week 3 QB’s #6,7,8,9, and 11 all sit on waivers with big points that Top Waddle needed, Deez Nuts needed, and Globo Gym really needed.
Derrick Henry is stiff arming mofos, the Lions are playing school yard football, and Jauan Jennings is the next man up. Who knew that Jauan Jennings was going to put up 11/175/3? Dicker Down did, that’s who! And surely he isn’t taking advice from friends. Who knew that Andy Dalton was going to come out slingin’ that thang on Da Raidas? Rashee Rice looks like the real deal and Jalen Carter is FIRED UP. Let’s just hope they don’t start a driving school together. If they did, Tyreek Hill would be first in line to roll his window up on them. Way to show up for your team this week, Reek. Jayden Daniels looks like the coolest dude on Earth and Josh Allen really IS the coolest dude on Earth. Those are your QB1 and QB2 through 3 weeks and if they stay healthy, they are a fantasy football dream as running quarterbacks.
65-YARD FIELD GOAL ALERT! Brandon Aubrey - get some! Some FF owners need to spend more time scouting their kickers as 8 of the top 10 Week 3 kickers are still on the waiver wire.
Points left on the bench… let’s talk about it. So many points left on the bench this Week. Nico Suave and Cream Slingers would have different outcomes if the correct players were put in the starting lineup. Aaron Jones with 24.3, Malik Nabers with 24.2, Chuba Hubbard with 26.4, Amari Cooper with 24.1, Terry McLaurin with 19.0, and Diontae Johnson with 23.2… All left on the bench in the league. It hurts my heart, but that’s the way the game goes and you’ve got to select your matchups wisely.
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK
Chasin’ cash MONEY 💰. Bread, moola, skrilla, dough, cheddar. Paper Chaser can’t buy happiness, but Bijan’s Dijon can’t buy a win! It looked like a tough start to the week with Rhamondre laying an egg on TNF, but it ended with Ja’Marr Chase and Dalton Kincaid going off on MNF. Kyren Williams ran for three TD’s against a good 49ers defense and you can thank Sean McVay for trick play calling that offense to victory. Charbonnet just keeps getting better thanks to an injury to Kenny III, but @ Detroit next week might prove too much. Paper Chaser’s bench is just a graveyard, but I guess that’s one way to ensure that you don’t play the wrong lineup.
Bijan’s Dijon Mostert is a points against machine! Consider yourself aware that this team is open to taking on opponent points. This week, Josh Jacobs just didn’t take on the same role as last, and Davante wants the fuck out of Vegas. Metcalf, Goedert, and Daniels look nice and they are not the problem - I think Goedert broke some sort of record and Daniels is ROTY. Bijan is going to have some big games this year and the points against will slow down, unless Dicker Down 👮 plays Jauan Jennings again next week. Keep battling, the wins will come.
FAT GUY TOUCHDOWN
We had another fat guy touchdown this week! Trent Scott on MNF for Jayden Daniels’ first passing touchdown in the NFL. Dance, big fella!
OVER/UNDER OF THE WEEK
How long will it take Chris Lowe to get kicked out of the group chat?
DRAFT MISSES
Who JUST missed in the draft.
Puka Nacua (1.10) and AJ Brown (1.11) taken before Saquon Barkley (1.12)
Sam LaPorta (4.1), Travis Kelce (4.2), and D’Andre Swift (4.7) taken before Rashee Rice (5.2)
Dalton Kincaid (5.8) taken before Malik Nabers (5.9)
Mark Andrews (6.2) taken before Aaron Jones (6.7)
David Njoku (6.7) taken before Brock Bowers (6.10)
Jaylen Warren (8.12), Tyler Allgeier (9.5), and Tyjae Spears (9.7) taken before J.K. Dobbins (9.9)
Blake Corum (11.6) taken before Jameson Williams (11.7)
Joshua Palmer (12.4) taken before Brandon Aubrey (12.5)
Now I understand that there are a lot of tight ends and injuries in here and that you need to fill your team out in certain positions vs the positions you already have filled during the draft. And I’m not saying these are bad picks, but it’s still fun to think about what could’ve been.
TOP ROOKIES OF THE WEEK
Highest scoring rookies in Week 3.
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19.34 Points
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9.9 Points
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21.4 Points
HAVE YOU SEEN ME?
Players in FF starting lineups that didn’t show up in Week 3.
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0.0 Points
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0.3 Points
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0.7 Points
GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK
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GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK 〰️
Malik Willis staying ready, running the offense, throwing for a TD, rushing for a TD, leading the Packers in Week 3 rushing, and winning the football game for Green Bay against his old team. Gets my dick hard!
OVERREACTION OF THE WEEK
The Miami Dolphins are the only team in the NFL to not hold a lead for a single second this season. They had the best total offense in the NFL regular season last year. -39 point differential is evidence that their offense is struggling and the defense is no better. Only the 2018 Houston Texans have started 0-3 and made the playoffs, but luckily the Dolphins are 1-2 this season and they play Tennessee and New England in the next two weeks. The Bengals on the other hand are 0-3 and their defense needs to stop talking and start defending the deep ball.
The Bears play calling is so bad. I am not a football coach. I am an armchair coach. But I know that Caleb Williams is not the problem and he is getting no help from his offensive line. His stat line looked a lot better thanks to a Hail Mary at the end of the half, but I can see that the play calling is not helping him and it is not helping the rushing game. Same thing in Vegas with Getsy, he is holding them back running some Josh McDaniels ass shit. Every year the Raiders change just enough to stay the same.
The Vikings are legit, The Eagles aren’t as good as their record shows, the Steelers may or may not be as good as their record shows, and the 49ers are a 4th quarter disaster away from being 2-1. I like the Packers, I like the Vikings, I like the way the Bills look right now. I always like Lamar Jackson and same with CJ Stroud, I think either of those guys can will their team to win. Same with Matt Stafford - that guy just always wins at the end of the game. Future HOF. I think that Week 4 is a very early NFL season witching hour, simply because it’s so hard to come back from 1-3 and on the flip side your chances of making the playoffs are much higher when starting 3-1. The real witching hour is probably more like Week 14, but this is the Overreaction of the Week column and that’s what we do here.
It’s hard out here for Nico Suave making last second changes to the FF lineup. Stick to your guns, play the hits, don’t overthink it. Globo Gym is in rough shape and Top Waddle said he would cry if he went 1-3. We have a heavyweight matchup with LaPorta Potty and Paper Chaser next week!