GO PACK GO!

Green Bay lays a beating on the injured 49ers in an NFC battle at Lambeau Field. Josh Jacobs rushes for over 100 yards and 3 TDs in Week 12 and continues to tear up the second half of the season. Still the Packers sit on the 6th seed in the playoff picture with a near 100% chance of making the playoffs and almost 0% chance of winning the division. Kyle Shanahan called the loss an embarrassment. I guess any loss to Jordan Love is embarrassing.

Saquon Barkley is a big play maker, Patrick Mahomes doesn’t know how to lose, and Austin Siebert only knows how to not win! Saquon Barkley rips off two 70+ yard TD’s and 3 TD’s total on SNF and is looking like the front runner for MVP. Tua and Jaylen Waddle regain their chemistry connecting 8 times for 144 yards and 1 TD in an easy win over the Patriots and don’t forget Jonnu Smith having a second straight monster week. Courtland Sutton and Bo Nix take down the lowly Las Vegas Raiders and Bo Nix doesn’t fear anything! 👀 Bo nix is now +110 to win OROY after being +2500 entering Week 10.

The Tampa Bay Bucs RB game is strong! Bucky Irving goes for 24.1, Rachaad White goes for 11.2, and Sean Tucker gets 7.5 FF points. Nico Suave would kill for any of those RB totals in Week 12! Some people just don’t appreciate the RBs when they have them.

John Parker Romo kicks the OT game winning field goal to give Minnesota their 9th win on the season. Ka’imi Fairbarn (full name: John Christian Ka’iminoeauloameka’ikeokekumupa’a Fairbairn) set an NFL record for most field goals (12) from 50 yards and beyond when he drilled a 54-yarder early in the fourth quarter. However, all anyone will remember was his miss, a chip shot he hooked from 28 yards later in the same quarter. It was his second miss from between 20 and 29 yards in the last four weeks. So are kickers good or are they bad? Tune into the Bowman/Lowe debate at next year’s FF draft.

Justin Jefferson no shows in Week 12 with his lowest FF total on the year at 3.7 points. Jayden Reed and Christian Watson were unnecessary as the Packers only needed to utilize the rushing game and Quentin Johnston is a dropped ball machine. Deebo Samuel is officially WR 40 on the year. Maybe Deebo needs to listen to TO and stop worrying about his pregame outfits so much and worry a little more about playing ball.

MATCHUP OF THE WEEK

Swag Surfin’! The fireman 🚒 clinches a playoff berth and stands alone at the top of the league with a win over Bijan’s Dijon Mostert in Week 12. Lamar Jackson comes through on MNF for Swag Dahdi, George Kittle continues to score TD’s and the big brain play to put in Keenan Allen out of the blue pays off as the WR has his biggest game of the year. Swag Dahdi had better hope that the BBQ stays hot as he runs into Nico Suave on a 3-game win streak and David Montgomery is likely to sit out on a short week. Gobble Gobble.

Bijan’s Dijon Mostert was looking to play spoiler but instead came up with his 10th loss on the season. Jayden Daniels looks back to top form, Terry McLaurin had a late game TD, and Dicker the Kicker tried to bring this team back from the dead on MNF. Ultimately, Xavier Worthy, Dallas Goedert, and no Bijan in Week 12 did this team in. You should’ve traded me Raheem Mostert when you had the chance, buddy.

🚨 INTERVIEW WITH TRAYNOR FLORES 🚨

Dubtown FF exclusive interview with LaPorta Potty owner Traynor Flores live from the Victory House.

Q: Name?

A: Night Trayn

Q: Age?

A: 33 soon to be 34

Q: Sex?

A: Yes, please.

Q: Gender?

A: He/him

Q: Years in the Dubtown FF League?

A: Since birth.

Q: As a former Champion, what do you think you need to do to get back to the Championship Game?

A: I am definitely out of it this year, but looking to ruin some playoff contenders chances.

Q: What about next year?

A: To get back in the ‘ship I think I need to buy more magazines.

Q: What magazines have you bought in the past?

A: Fantasy Football Index.

Q: Did you buy that for the photos or for the articles?

A: I bought them for the sleepers and for gathering information on incoming rookies.

Q: What about the photos?

A: Not enough areolas.

Q: As someone who deals with Kirby everyday, how does he treat FF behind closed doors? What can we get from behind the scenes?

A: Greg has earned his voice in this league, but his coffee is still warm from the day he has entered this league. His real test of adversity is this year.

Q: So how do you think he has handled it this year?

A: Greg is a money maker. A money maker who may be getting a little to big for his britches.

Q: What are your predictions for best and worst in the league this year?

A: Unfortunately, mustache-tank top-loud mouth Bowman is probably going to win it this year. This is a big week for Tony. I want the Kim Jong Un-Sadam Hussein of this year AKA Turtle Tunzi to take last but unfortunately, I think Sleepy Lowe is going to take last.

Q: If you could redraft, what would you do differently?

A: Sam LaPorta in the 3rd round really hurts. Saquon has worked out well and I should have focused on a second RB. Michael Pittman in the 2nd round and Zamir White in the 5th round was not good.

Tony Tunzi: Jesus Christ, I don’t know how you have six wins this year.

Q: What do you enjoy most about playing in the Dubtown FF League?

A: I really enjoy draft day. Looking to the future I would like to expand on some competitions surrounding draft day. It’s my favorite part of the league.

Q: Final thoughts?

A: We need Sadam to stop removing people’s freedom of speech.

Q: Which Amendment is Freedom of Speech?

A: The First Amendment. And I would like to add a shoutout to the ‘tism group chat. If you know you know.

Thank you, sir. Carry on.

IN MEMORIAM

RIP to our eliminated FF teams. Better luck next year.

Globo Gym

Drafted roster: A.J. Brown, Derrick Henry, Patrick Mahomes, Travis Kelce, Christian Watson, Mark Andrews, Keenan Allen, Justin Tucker, Devin Singletary, Browns D/ST, Demarcus Robinson, Caleb Williams, Adam Thielen, Aaron Rodgers

Eliminated roster: Justin Herbert, Derrick Henry, Javonte Williams, Ladd McConkey, Jerry Jeudy, Travis Kelce, Khalil Shakir, Broncos D/ST, Jake Elliott, Patrick Mahomes, Baker Mayfield, Josh Downs, Audric Estime, Joshua Palmer

F’kn Catalina Wine Mixon

Drafted roster: Amon-Ra St. Brown, Travis Etienne Jr., Joe Mixon, Brandon Aiyuk, C.J. Stroud, George Pickens, Kyle Pitts, Jayden Reed, Tyler Allgeier, 49ers D/ST, Gabe Davis, Jerry Jeudy, Greg Zuerlein, Brock Purdy

Eliminated roster: Jared Goff, Joe Mixon, Cam Akers, Amon-Ra St. Brown, George Pickens, Hunter Henry, Jayden Reed, Texans D/ST, Jason Meyers, Travis Etienne Jr., C.J. Stroud, Tucker Kraft, Tank Bigsby, Rome Odunze