Week 14
PURDY PAYDAY!
The 49ers roll the Bears with 319 total yards in the first half to Chicago’s 4 total yards. Brock Purdy is in his bag! Paper Chaser knows a thing or two about getting money, those two should link up!
With the Vikings win over the Falcons, the Vikings, Lions, and Packers are a collective 28-3 against the rest of the league. The Packers are a little spooky though and Jayden Reed didn’t show up to TNF. Can the Packers passing game be holding them back? Josh Jacobs surely isn’t the problem… maybe it is the fan base.
Josh Allen has set the single game fantasy record for a QB with 54.88 FF points in Week 14. Allen is the first player in NFL history with 3 passing TD’s and 3 rushing TD’s in the same game.
Kirk Cousins is now in talks for being benched. This is the same guy who threw for over 500 yards in a game earlier this year. Kirk has 8 interceptions in his last four games and is second to Ryan Leaf in that span. Bucky Irving pulled the okey-doke on FF owners and Alvin Kamara hasn’t had a TD since Week 6. Lots to think about heading into FF playoffs.
MATCHUP OF THE WEEK
Dicker Down muscles up and presses his way into the playoffs with a 1 point win over the Cream Slingers! Puka Nacua and Jauan Jennings have big weeks with lots of TD action out of two hot receivers. These two could be HUGE for the Dickers as they head into FF playoffs. Brock Bowers continues his solid season and Bo Nix will be back fresh off the BYE and in perfect timing to take on A, B, Cee Deez Nuts. This is where the road ends for Dicker Down as many other teams have met this fate before and the last thing they see is Kirby’s boot stomping their hopes into the curb.
The Cream Slingers are not too worry and still carry the #5 seed and will keep moving into this year’s playoffs. Justin Jefferson had guys falling over in the secondary and Jalen Hurts had one of the best-worst games ever! Chuba Hubbard has been a wonderful surprise this year and Tony Pollard is another good back on a bad team. Look for Courtland Sutton off a BYE and Coach Benji lurking in the wait. We all know what happened when these two coaches met once before.
🏆 END OF THE REGULAR SEASON AWARDS 🏆
Paper Chaser - "The Mickey Mouse Award"
For being the king of a trash conference, obsessing over Disneyland, and relying on a kicker to carry your sorry squad. Goofy ass dude.
Dicker Down - "The Who Even Are You? Award"
For ghosting the group chat all year, missing the irony of your team name, and barely scraping into the playoffs like a true bottom-feeder.
Nico Suave - "The Fantasy Friend Zone Award"
For making trades no one remembers, writing blogs no one reads, and forever settling for 7th place because you’re allergic to success. Maybe next year you should try not being a piece of shit.
LaPorta Potty - "The Participation Trophy Award"
For having a team name that’s worse than your actual team, but hey, at least you’re having fun... right? Can you just pay Kirby now in Schrute Bucks or whatever Bay Alarm matches to the 401(k)?
Bijan's Dijon Mostert - "The Chat Goblin Award"
For spamming the group chat with nonsense, getting booted repeatedly, and believing you’re good at fantasy despite your record proving otherwise. Thanks for all of your input and being 6th in points this year.
Titletown Turtles - "The Commissioner of Cringe Award"
For running the league like a shady dictator and still managing to finish dead last. Karma’s real, bro. And getting low point on the year is telling.
Swag Dahdi - "The Peacock Award"
For strutting around like you’re too cool for fantasy football while loudly reminding everyone you’re in first place. Congrats, you’re insufferable.
Cream Slingers - "The Vanilla Killer Award"
For boring everyone to tears with your silence while secretly climbing the standings. A snoozefest of a team that could even put a firefighter on Adderall to sleep.
A, B, Cee Deez Nuts - "The Washed-Up Champ Award"
For riding the coattails of past glory and barely clinging to relevance while your dynasty crumbles. Enjoy soccer practice, loser.
Coach Benji - "The Finally Figured It Out Award"
For taking half the season to realize high school football strategies don’t work in fantasy, clawing out of last place, and finishing strong like a true underdog. Congrats on your breakthrough year, Squid!
F'kn Catalina Wine Mixon - "The Perennial Punching Bag Award"
For being the league’s lovable loser, eternally stuck in fantasy purgatory. Better luck next year (but not really).
Globo Gym - "The All Bark, No Bite Award"
For rejoining the league just to get roasted in the group chat and humiliated in the standings. Keep working out those glutes, champ.
💰 HIGH POINT OF THE YEAR 💰
Dubtown League high point of the year goes to Paper Chaser in Week 14 with 168.56 points.
Top 3 point scorers in Week 14 for Paper Chaser:
Ja’Marr Chase - 40.1 FF points (14/177/1)
Zach Charbonnet - 36.8 FF points (134/59/2)
Kyren Williams - 22.7 FF points (87/10/2)
TOP ROOKIES OF THE WEEK
Highest scoring rookies in Week 14.
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14.06 Points
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25.8 Points
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19.9 Points
HAVE YOU SEEN ME?
Players in FF starting lineups that didn’t show up in Week 14.
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1.0 Points
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0.8 Points
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0.0 Points
GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK
〰️
GETS MY DICK HARD OF THE WEEK 〰️
Joe Burrow throwing for another 3 TD’s and finishing the FF regular season strong! Get’s my dick hard!
OVERREACTION OF THE WEEK
OOOOOOOOHHHH BABY! Here we go. The FF playoffs are here. This is what it is all about. No more non sense and no more annoying group chat from the guys who aren’t in contention. We enter the phase where it’s the top half of the league and that means that it’s anyone’s shot. All of these teams are good and on any given Sunday, we can see the #6 seed win or the #1 seed go down in a heap.
#1 Swag Dahdi - BYE
#5 Cream Slingers vs. #4 Coach Benji
#2 Paper Chaser - BYE
#6 Dicker Down vs. #3 A, B, Cee Deez Nuts
My prediction: Swag Dahdi 🚒 vs Kirby 👑 in the championship game.
This will likely be my last blog of this style. It will most likely just be matchup reviews and some other small nonsense. It’s been fun this year and nothing that I say/said should be taken seriously. I enjoy this league and all of the excitement that it brings. Good luck to the remaining players! - KB